Hey teem!
It’s me, mattie bee, I’m back more or less.
Whoops, I’m useless. And it’s September and I haven’t updated this thing in AGGGGES.
I had hoped that this would be a way to help people get out bed in the morning. I found myself in the last couple of weeks falling more and more out of schedule, finding it much, much easier to just stay in bed a beat longer. The longer I stay in bed, the easier it is to ignore the day, to ignore any responsibilities that I have thrust upon myself or others. And then when I finally get up, at some point between 11 and 1pm, I complain about having no time in the day to do anything and whittle it away.
But that’s ok, we’re allowed to be slouches and slobs. The safety of our country is at stake here ya know.
Today’s theme is Cinema! My first love. And instead of my usual format, I thought I’d try something a little bit different, and do a string of short recommendations before settling on something that I can talk about at length.
Some of you may know about my CINEMA LIST that I keep. In short, I have a book that I’ve had since I was sixteen that I have compiled every single film I have seen since January 2014, ranking them in multiple categories out of ten, for total scores up to 50.
I thought today I would compile a little list of all the 50’s I have ever awarded and give you short snippets of why I think they’re worth your time, in the hopes that they bring the same joy into your life as they bring into mine.
These aren’t categorized by Best to Worst, but rather how to go into them-
(And please note that some of these I first awarded these scores to when I was a teenager, and I LOVE movies so I’m more like to give high scores than low scores if there was a particular aspect that I really, really appreciated- I stand by it dammit!)
FOR JOY
Booksmart (2019- dir. Olivia Wilde- NETFLIX / NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
The Breakfast Club I think was the first flick to really have me fall in love with the idea of the “Teen Movie” rather than just- content for me, ya know? I’ve been working on one in various states over the last year or so and my love for them was really rebooted with this film. Olivia Wildes feature debut, it follows Beanie Feldstein (one of the loves of my life) and Kaitlyn Dever (icon) as two nerds who decide to seek out an end of high school party and get up to friendship shattering shenanigans along the way. Billie Lourd plays maybe the greatest character put to film. There’s a drag murder mystery party halfway through. Dever swims hornily through a pool of half-naked teens set to LCD Soundsystem. This flick is so fun. An all-timer.
Eddie The Eagle (2016- dir. Dexter Fletcher- DISNEY+ / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Taron Edgerton plays against type as a total weirdo learning how to ski jump! Hugh Jackman is teaching him how! It’s a classic underdog story that makes me cry every time I see it- Right at the beginning of the film kid Taron runs away to go to the Olympics. His Mum (knowing his dad’ll pick him up in five minutes) encourages him, offering him a biscuit tin for all of his medals.
When he’s an adult and ACTUALLY GOING TO THE OLYMPICS she sees him off at the bus stop, offering the same biscuit tin!
Him- “Mum, I’m not gonna win any medals!” Her- “Well, you never know”
Bawling. Thanks, guys.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016- dir. Richard Linklater- NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
I don’t remember much of anything about this coming of age college movie accept that I later learned that the lead abused the hell out of his wife… so that’s a slight against it. I remember having such a good time watching it though. It’s just a bunch of guys hanging out in a frat (I think?) waiting for the first week of college to begin (I think? I don’t actually know).
In The Heights (2021- dir. Jon M. Chu- NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
One of the most recent additions to the list- A good musical is almost guaranteed to get me to rank it high. They bristle with love and so I love them back. This one, about the crisscrossing lives of the Latino community living in New Yorks Washington Heights neighbourhood, is so chock full with style and flavour and wonder and joy (The sequence at the public pool where all the characters dream about what they would do if they won the lotto is so wonderfully bombastic) it’s so good! Anthony Ramos is a straight-up superstar! This guy’s gonna be in a Transformers! I hope they don’t smush out all the good vibe juice that makes him so cool and good.
Klaus (2019- dir. Sergio Pablos- NETFLIX)
All-time great modern Christmas movie!! A beautifully animated independent lil flick about the origins of Christmas, how it started cause of a selfish, Kuzko-ish postman who got transferred to a town that hated itself and the friendship he strikes up with a humble toymaker with a big ol’d beard. Pushing traditional imagery aside to make something much more charming and unique, this one is a complete banger. JK Simmons plays grouchy Santa! What more do you want?!
Knives Out (2019- dir. Rian Johnson- ACADEMY ON DEMAND / NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Rian Johnson is one of my faves, Looper and The Last Jedi are right up for the best sci-fi of the last decade. So what a surprise that this star-studded, down to earth, who-dun-it would enthral me the way that it does! Me. I knew. Daniel Craig is solving a mystery- who murdered the patriarch of this shitty, rich family? Lucky for us, every single member of the cast is hilariously greasy and fun to watch. Truly so, so, so much fun. A delight from beginning to end.
The Lego Movie (2014- dir. Phil Lord & Chris Miller- NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
You know what The Lego Movie is. I don’t have to explain myself to you. It’s charming! It’s legos! And they’re stop-motioning around with feelings and personalities and charm! It’s got a beautiful message at the heart of it which I’m pretty sure made me cry a bunch of times and the animation. Zoo-wee-mama! Is that stuff just bursting at the seams. Colourful and dynamic and wonderful. This movie is just well, well, well made- maybe the best thing that iconic duo Lord & Miller have ever directed? Quite possibly.
Little Shop of Horrors (1986- dir. Frank Oz- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
One of my all-time faves- a B-movie homage directed by the voice of Ms Piggy & Yoda, Rick Moranis is barely scraping by in the New York slums, given an olive branch by an Alien Plant that promises to make him rich and famous… so long as he keeps giving him fresh meat. A true delight from start to finish, filled with 50’s throwback bops- personal favourite is Steve Martins solo as a sadist dentist. So, so weird and so, so funny- would recommend seeking out the original ending if you can find it which is so weirdly dark and chock full of excellent effects.
Hamilton (2021- dir. Thomas Kail- DISNEY+)
You know what Hamilton is. You know that it’s good. I know that Gen Z had a moment on TikTok especially where Lin-Manuel Miranda became the punching bag of the hour cause of his “cast myself as the guy that every woman in this play wants to fuck” which, honestly, power move, and his extreme theatre-kid energy (which is every single actor, what are you on bro). But come on. It’s Hamilton. It’s good.
The Mitchells vs The Machines (2021- dir. Michael Rianda & Jeff Rowe- NETFLIX)
Ok, so Lord & Miller produced this absolute banger from Sony Animation and you can see their fingerprints all over it. I’m a sucker for animation, especially unique animation that pushes the boundaries of what the medium can do. This wonderful, hyper-styalized blend of traditional and CG animation is doing exactly that. That blend is the perfect, hyper-stylized vessel to tell the story of one family’s attempts to stop the (very funny) robot apocalypse. While the film is very bombastic (major highlight includes the whole family having to face down a giant evil Furby and an army of evil kitchen appliances) at its heart is a beautiful story about a father and daughter who are trying to learn how to understand each other. I saw a lot of myself in the lead, the extremely gay and neuro-divergent coded Katie, and a lot of my own family in hers. It’s my favourite film of the year so far and it' is well, well well worth your time.
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992- dir. Brian Henson- DISNEY+ / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
The best Christmas movie and the best muppet movie. That’s a fact and you’re not allowed to argue with me on that. Have you ever seen a better version of either?? No, you haven’t. Gonzo plays good ol’ Chuck Dickens and Rizzo the Rat plays himself telling you the classic story of a Christmas Carol! Michael Caine (the best single human in a Muppet Movie ever) plays Scrooge with such deliberate meticulousness. I read somewhere that he only signed on to do the movie if he was allowed to play the role like he would in a Shakespearian production. Caine is playing King Richard here, surrounded by frogs and pigs and chickens. It’s wonderful. What’s more wonderful? The Frogs and Pigs and Chickens. The attention to detail is incredible, every set and prop and puppet contains so much joy from the people who made them and perform them. It’s hard not to get lost in a Muppets eyes. They’re imbued with such personality and love. That love is infectious and it infects the whole movie.
I recall the Jim Henson Retrospectacle Concert that played as part of a larger exhibit a few years back at Te Papa. It was a live concert, the Muppets backed up by a live orchestra (and a live Brett McKensie, of Concords fame who also did all the music for the 21st century Muppet Movies). The setup was such that there was no screen or blockage that would obscure the puppeteers. I was a little worried, thinking that seeing performers like Steve Whitmire, Dave Goelz & Karen Prell would ruin the experience. Steve came out on a backless roller chair (or some sort of proper puppeteer equivalent) in theatre blacks and his hand in the sky and Kermit on his fist. The only thought that crossed my mind for the rest of the show was “Holy shit, that’s Kermit!”.
As I write this out, maybe the reverence I have for Muppet Christmas Carol is less about the movie and more about the Muppets themselves. There is nothing in this world that exists quite like them. And while they do exist nowadays exclusively under Disney’s all-consuming corporate banner, that love that I was describing before still manages to permeate through. You can look into a pair of painted ping pong balls resting on a well-shaped pile of green felt and feel nothing but emanating warmth back.
The Muppet Christmas Carol is a warm hug. And what’s better than that on the coldest winter night?
Paddington 2 (2017- dir. Paul King- NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
The greatest family film of all time. Maybe the greatest sequel of all time. Definitely the best Hugh Grant performance of all time. That’s not hyperbole. That’s fucking fact.
Paddington Bear gets framed by Hugh Grant (a manical self-obbessed washed up actor who dresses up like a nun to steal hidden treasure and talks to his old costumes like they’re people) and goes to jail where, by simply being himself, makes the lives of the prisoners around him better. Every single person in this film brings their absolute a-game, absolutely charming and hilarious all the way through (Highlights including Brendon Gleesons hard-as-nails prison cook and Hugh Bonneville as Paddington’s stiff adoptive father). They just have so many little incredible pieces- The journey into the pop up book in act one- the prison break sequence where we journey into a little model of the prison- the flashback sequence kicked off by simple pans to the right. This movie is perfection, and it’s two ending lines make me cry like a baby every time I see them.
Paper Heart (2009- dir. Nicholas Jasenovec- AMAZON PRIME VIDEO / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Have you ever wanted to know what it would be like to date Michael Cera?? Well say no more! This Mockumentary follows Charlene Yi, previous stand-up comic, current leftist author, as they produce a documentary about love, trying to figure out why they’ve never been in love. And then it intercuts it with their burgeoning relationship with Michael Cera (playing himself)- the two of them a couple at the time.
I haven’t seen this movie in a long, long time, buying it on iTunes of a whim, but I can recall being so moved by the delightful honesty and awkwardness this blooming love entailed. It also features a song at the end “Magic Purfume” by Yi themselves which is just so god damn cute and lovely that it makes me wanna scream.
It’s really fun and really cute and really 2009. I recommend it.
School Of Rock (2003- dir. Richard Linklater- NETFLIX / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
I had never seen School of Rock until earlier this year (yeah, yeah I know, get out of my ass ya dorks) watching it as research into how to successfully juggle lots of characters in a 90-minute film. And then I discovered one of the greatest films of all time. This film is hilarious, heartfelt and wonderful from start to finish. Joan Cusack! Jack Black! Miranda Cosgrove as the most type-A kid I have ever seen. The TUNES. Instant classic.
Sing Street (2016- dir. John Carney- NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
I’ve already spoken at length in a newsletter about this film- a musical love letter to love of all kinds- so do a little deep dive if you want a deeper dive, but I will say this- in this film there is a scene where the kids film their first-ever music video. And it is so low budget and bad, capturing the sensibilities of the time and of that age-group, that it’s perfect.
”She tells me she's a model
Of international reputation
She's lightning in a bottle
But there's a stipulation”
Wont You Be My Neighbour (2018- dir. Morgan Neville- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
I’m pretty sure I watched this on a plane? I don’t remember really. I don’t really remember the contents of this flick either, apart from the sweet, warm feeling I got on my inside bod when watching it. This docu about the way that Fred Rodgers changed television and the lives of the people around him for the better is so heart-warmingly sweet it’s sickening. But like, in a good way!
FOR ASTONISHMENT
Akira (1988- dir. Katsuhiro Ohtomo- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Ok, so I’m barely through this thing and I’ve noticed how I’m reusing the same words over and over again and calling a lot of the movies on this list- the greatest movie of all time. That might be hyperbole but I don’t care. Every movie that I love is the greatest movie of all time. Including this one! The wildly influential anime masterpiece Akira! Have you seen Akira?? If you haven’t you will start to see it everywhere after watching it for the first time. It’s about a bunch of teens in a dystopian Tokyo that get roped into a wild conspiracy involving fucked up old-young kids, telekinetic powers and the government! (Oh no) and has one of the wildest third acts ever put to film! Watch this movie for the motorcycle shot alone. You don’t know what shot I’m talking about? You will once you see it.
Being John Malcovich (1999- dir. Spike Jonze- NEON / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
This is another flick that I haven’t seen in a while. Spike Jonze directs an excellent screenplay here about how John Cusack finds a lil door that leads directly to the head of actor John Malcovich before getting spit out on a road. He then tries to make money off it. Shenanigans ensue. It’s wild.
Creed (2015- dir. Ryan Coogler- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
For a long, long time I thought that I didn’t have any favourite directors or filmmakers in general. As I go down this list I’m learning that this sentiment is bullshit. Ryan Coogler is up with some of the contemporary greats. the first film of his I saw, Creed, the franchise sequel to the Rocky films handing the reigns over to Michael B Jordan (getting trained by Rocky himself) is just so, so- ugh it’s hard to think of the right words. I’m not a big sports guy, less so sports movies, but it’s so wonderful to get whisked up in something so very very well made. When the stakes are clear, physical and emotional, and you find yourself cheering alongside the heroes in the film. That’s a drug, that’s the good stuff that I need to hit over and over again. This flick rules.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes & War of the Planet of the Apes (2014 & 2017- dir. Matt Reeves- DISNEY+ / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
These two films, alongside Rupert Wyatt directed Rise of the Planet of the Apes, make up the greatest sci-fi trilogy of the 21st century. While Wyatt’s film is certainly very good, serving more as an origin story for Andy Serkis’s main smart monkey Ceaser, these other two take the lore established and run with it, developing a tightly wound, incredibly passionate series of films about what it takes to build a civilization from nothing, crafting a wonderful origin story for the entire Planet of the Apes. They’re dark, methodical and thoughtful sci-fi where the APES are the central characters. There are humans throughout, but they come and go. They’re instigators of conflict. Karin Konoval’s incredible turn as peacekeeping Orangatang Maurice or Toby Kebbell’s wonderfully villainous Koba are the characters that you fall in love with. Which is wild to say since they’re sign language monkeys! Speaking of monkeys, holy shit are the effects good in these films. The team at Weta outdo themselves here, helping develop performances that are just so wonderfully insular. It’s wild to look into the eyes of a CGI monkey from 2014 (still holding up incredibly) and know exactly what they’re thinking.
Watch Dawn if you’re into a slow burn between two opposing species in a city/jungle, watch War if you wanna see a road trip film about monkeys on horses in the snow. Or watch both! Or all three! They’re all on Disney+ and they’re all superb.
Hot Fuzz (2007- dir. Edgar Wright- NETFLIX / AMAZON PRIME VIDEO / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Edgar Wright is another one of those directors that I actually adore when I tell myself that I don’t have a favourite director. Edgar Wright is the obvious choice- he directed my favourite film of all time- but Hot Fuzz I reckon might be his best. The second of his Cornetto Trilogy starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Hot Fuzz is a stylish, bloody love letter to the action genre. Simon Pegg is a hardcore cop that gets transferred to a tiny English village, partnered with an incompetent Nick Frost. Together they uncover a dark conspiracy at the heart of the town and vow to stop in a spectacular, ultra-violent fashion. It’s hilarious, it’s wildly violent, it’s got old ladies shooting guns bigger than them. It’s a masterpiece.
How To Train Your Dragon 2 (2015- dir. Dean DeBlois- NETFLIX / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Another incredible 21st-century trilogy that not nearly enough people give credit where it is due, for the glo-up of it’s main character alone. I have very strong memories of being a nerdy lil Tumblr teen and all the horny Potterheads and Superwholockians exploding in horny glee when the first trailer revealed that Hiccup, the main character, was now hot. What a time to be alive. These films, this one in particular, are rich, emotional fantasy. Not so much concerned with the high lore of a Game of Thrones or a Lord of the Rings or even a Star Wars, rather, these films prefer to explore their characters and figure out what makes them tick. The second, my favourite, is most interested in the relationship between kids and parents. The first one explored that too, between Hiccup and his father, but this one throws his long lost mother into the mix, exploring kindness and tenderness and love. The best scene in this whole series is when his mother and father are reunited for the first time, and instead of him tearing into her for abandoning him like she expects him to, he’s overjoyed and sings her the song that helped him woo her in the first place. It’s beautiful, it’s wonderful. It’s also in a film with some absolutely wild animated dragon battles. The bad guy is trying to take control by force and the heroes need to stop him with love! Hell yeah. Also- Hiccup is a disabled lead! He’s got a prosthetic leg! Kids movies never let disabled people exist unless they’re villains, pitiable or the joke. Hiccup’s none of those things! His disability is a part of him, it enhances him, it makes him whole. Also- consequences! Consequences from the last movie lead into this one and consequences from this movie lead into the next! I hate media that treat consequences as something to be reversed on a whim (looking at you superhero comics). Death is important. Stakes are important. This movie understands that and doesn’t try to shield those consequences for the sake of its child audience and I love it for that.
Kill Bill: Vol 1 (2003- dir. Quentin Tarantino- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
This is my favourite Tarantino. It’s got cool ladies with swords fighting each other and music that makes my socks disintegrate and Lucy Liu & Uma Thurman kicking more ass than anyone you have ever seen. It’s so cool and good and bloody. Yeah, the boys.
The Little Prince (2015- dir. Mark Osborne- NETFLIX)
This 2015 Netflix original animated film from the director of Kung Fu Panda is an underappreciated masterpiece. An adaptation of the classic French children’s book, this thing tells half of its story with CG animation and the other with Stop Motion, telling a heartbreaking, wonderous, magical story about growing up and how much it hurts sometimes.
With an absolutely stacked cast in both sections, Jeff Bridges, Racheal McAdams, Benicio Del Toro, Paul Rudd, Paul Giamatti (all icons) it follows a little girl who moves into a new house and meets an old aviator next door who tells her the story of The Little Prince. Its film making magic at its finest. It’s a movie that sings.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015- dir. George Miller- NEON / NEON RENTALS / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
I don’t need to tell you why this movie is great. Has there been another movie in the last ten years that’s instantly become as iconic as this one? I mean, it’s a pop-culture cornerstone. Its practical effects pushed to the absolute max. It’s motherfucking Furiosa! It’s a banger and then some.
Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018- dir. Christopher McQuarrie- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Ok, so this movie I’ve only seen the one time in theatres, and the fifty may have been gifted from the sheer dizzying high I was feeling as I exited the theatre, but god damn it. I think it’s well worth it. These movies are pure high adrenaline action cinema in their purest form. Tom Cruise is just leaping off things willy nilly for our entertainment, and this time, he’s dragging along Henry Cavill and his incredible moustache along for the ride. I need to watch this movie again. Damn
Paprika (2006- dir. Satoshi Kon- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
I discussed Paprika at length in a previous email but I’ve been away from substack for long enough that I feel yall need a reminder. Paprika is a masterpiece.
Ok, ok, sure, it’s a little bit fatphobic and a little bit ableist. The main villain falls into that classic trope of “I’m disabled and have turned to villainy to control the world and in turn have control of my body again”. One of the leads is also an obese man-child that spends most of the film either eating or inhibited by tight spaces. While incredibly interestingly animated, the film tends to physically portray him in a way that’s almost grotesque. As a fat man myself, I’m not a fan. There’s also a very uncomfortable sexual assault in the third act. It leans on the fantastical but it’s still not great.
All that said, the sheer magnitude of this film is unlike anything else that has ever existed. The argument has been made over and over again- animation can and will do things that live-action will never do. They’re two very different mediums but one gets so much more respect. Paprika is this argument put on celluloid.
It’s like Inception! Therapists use machines to jump into folks dreams but then the machine goes missing and things are looking very bad for everyone involved! It’s wacky wild nutty and only gets nuttier as the film goes on. It pushes you over and over and over and dares you to dream bigger and then does it for you.
Runaway Train (1985- dir. Andrei Konchalovsky- ITUNES)
This is another film I had the great pleasure of seeing on Film at the Hollywood a few weeks back. (Well not a few a few. I would be a very naughty boy if I broke lockdown rules to get my hands on an hour and a half of 35mm).
I spoke about this film in my very first newsletter! That’s fun! I’ll refresh your minds-
This is a movie about a pair of crooks who escape an Alaskan prison and stow away on a train. The train is unmanned and is quickly spiralling out of control. They have to figure out how to stop it.
This film slaps every which way. It slaps your face, it slaps your ass, it slaps your back, it just slaps extremely hard. Being an ‘85 thriller there aren’t a hell of a lot of major Avengers-style set pieces for this train and its excellent cast to smash through. It’s more interested in tension and how to keep it running for as long as possible. You’re on the edge of your seat the whole time, from the first moment when the prison warden walks us to meet Jon Voights incredible lead, as prisoners toss flaming pieces of paper all around him, right up to the last frame- preceded by one of the most emotional, powerful conclusions to a heroes journey I’ve seen. It’s really, really good stuff- it examines masculinity and hero worship and power dynamics. It creates these larger than life characters and then tears them down until all you’re left are people trying their very best to stop a train. A monster of a movie.
Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010- dir. Edgar Wright- NEON / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
It’s no surprise to anyone that knows me, anyone that’s ever met me is more apt, that this is my favourite film of all time. I’m deathly loyal to the Scottie Pee brand. I’ve got the comics. I’ve got the video game. I’ve got a poster on my wall. I’ve got copies of it on Blu-Ray and DVD and have listened to most of the many commentary tracks on those copies.
It’s not the best movie of all time, it’s niche and weird and maybe cuts its scummy protagonist a bit too much slack about dating a teenager while he’s 22 (come on guy, not a cool move) but I hold it to such a high standard because, at 12, it was simply unlike anything I had ever seen before.
It was the peak of Edgar Wrights stylistic visual style. Whip pans and hard cuts and quick zooms all for the purpose of character and comedy. Yes, and for style too, this movie is overflowing with style, but mostly for the first two reasons! It’s a peak that I personally don’t think he’s reached since, not with the astounding visual gags and wacky special effects that make this suburban video game come to life. Level ups and digital spunk fill every frame, the characters (of which there are many and could’ve easily fallen into overstuffed territory) all feel so alive. A character like Young Neil (whose whole thing is that he hangs out with the band but is not in the band) could have easily fallen to the wayside. Instead, everyone involved, including the exceptional Johnny Simmons, help make him so fun and wonderful and memorable. (“She punched the highlights out of her hair!”)
Also- I forgot- this cast is fucking STACKED. Everyone in this movie, save for Michael Cera obvie, are lil babies who are just about to start souring into stardom- putting in some of their best work here! Mae Whitman! Alison Pill! Alison Brie!!??? Anna Kendrick????? Mary Elizabeth Winstead!!!!!??? Chris Evans???!! What the fuck guys, this is too many good actors saying too many very funny things.
”Bread makes you fat” “That’s actually hilarious” “how are you doing that with your mouth” “Lesbians?”
I’m running out of things to say because it’s all been said much better than I ever could articulate. Go watch the movie. Watch Michael Cera fight a dozen Chris Evans’s and then challenge him to a skateboard-off. It’s a good movie! It’s fun!
Sorry To Bother You (2018- dir. Boots Riley- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
This movie was already weird enough without the hard shift left in the middle of the film. And lemme tell you it’s a hard left shift. Like, so hard that you may wanna switch it off and ignore the movie altogether. Blot it out of your mind left. But keep watching! Cause it gets weirder.
The incredible LaKeith Stanfield stars in the debut feature of musician Boots Riley. I haven’t seen it since it first came out, but I remember it being an incredibly funny, surrealist examination of race, privilege and capitalism. It’s about how LaKeith gets a job as a telemarketer and doesn’t start doing well for himself until he starts doing a “white voice”- a voice provided by David Cross. You know, Tobias from Arrested Development. Or Crane from Kung Fu Panda. It’s a brilliant little premise, made even more brilliant as it goes on, involving Steven Yeun’s tired union man, Tessa Thompsons struggling artist and Armie Hammer at his most deranged outside of his real life. It’s chock full of themes and symbolism that I, as a white, am not entirely qualified to dissect, but even if that stuff goes completely over your head you’ll still be cracking up and asking yourself “what the actual fuck is going on here? Sick”
Speed Racer- (2008- dir. The Wachowski Sisters- ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Speed Racer is the best movie about creative freedom pushing against corporate agendas that features John Goodman suplex a ninja.
The Wachowski Sisters most creatively ambitious movie, their biggest flop and their most visually interesting, Speed Racer takes its anime inspirations, grounds them up into powder before melting it down and injecting it into your veins. Its colourful green screen Sin City style approach to filmmaking is so unique. I personally love it but I can understand how to some it may feel like a slap to the face. It refuses to transition ordinarily, it moves from scene to scene with such vigour and confidence. It dares you to ask what the hell is going on because it’ll reply as loudly as it can “FUCKING THIS”.
In the movie, Speed Racer (that’s his name) is a race car driver that corporate mega-CEO Arnold Royalton (fuck yeah fuck you) wants to recruit. Speed Racer declines, his family-oriented garage operation more important to him than big paychecks. This pisses Royalton off so much that he conspires to destroy Speed and his whole family. The only way to stop him is to beat his racers at The Big Race.
There are scenes in this thing that just defy explanation. A driver spends his car careening into the sky to punch another driver in the face! As Speed fights a bunch of baddies the camera zooms around turning snowfall into speed lines! There’s a scene transition that looks like this!
It is ultimately a kids movie, so there are far too many scenes with the precocious kid and his pet monkey for my personal taste (can’t blame the kid, kid actors work with what they have, I think I mostly blame the monkey) but the rest is so visually and emotionally resonant it just blows me away. This movie is a firework. It blows up in your face and waits for you to be impressed. I mean that as the highest praise.
Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse- (2018- dir. Bob Persichetti & Peter Ramsey- NEON RENTALS / ITUNES)
This is the best spider-man movie of all time, the best superhero movie of all time, the best animated movie of all time maybe?
I adore emotionally resonant cinema. The movies that are able to, through sheer force of will, able to make me feel every emotion ever created. This movie does this, multiple times.
In it, Spider-Man dies. Inspired by him, Miles Morales, a kid from Brooklyn with blooming spider-powers of his own, decides to step up in his place. And then he starts meeting other spider-folks from alternate universes.
I talk a lot in this newsletter about beautiful animation. Just above I talked about how dynamic Speed Racer is. Spider-verse does a similar thing, using incredible cohesive and colourful visual language to tell this story of personal responsibility and wild impossibility. It’s the heroes journey. Miles has to learn how to have faith in himself. And he does it in the most creative, colourful, spidery movie of all time. The Kingpin is the main bad guy and he’s the size of a gad damn truck. Can’t do that with Vincent D'onofrio. Impossible. Ever wanted to see a Pig drop an anvil on a giant scorpion man’s head? You got it, Wowiee zowee, cohesive and emotionally satisfying arcs for every single character in the film?? Holy hecka don’t see that every day! Incredible.
I don’t know what else to say, man. It has one of the greatest scenes ever put to film in it. You’ll know it when you see it.
Tickled (2016- dir. David Farrier & Dylan Reeve- ACADEMY ON DEMAND/ TVNZ ON DEMAND/ DOC PLAY/ BEAMA FILM/ NZ FILM ON DEMAND/ ITUNES)
Tickled is a documentary by kiwi journo’s and filmmakers David Farrier and Dylan Reeve about the unusual world of online competitive tickling. Only it’s not about that. It’s about power and influence and exploitation and the ultra-strange and the ultra-specific. It’s a winding staircase of a film that refuses to tell you what you’re going to find on the next floor down. It drags you down into the dark along with Farrier and Reeve as they continue to push, finding puzzle pieces stranger than the last. It’s disturbing and sad and astonishing. It keeps you on the edge of your seat as it sends the two all over the world. It’s like an onion. It has layers. It’s remarkable. And I’m not even a big documentary guy!
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988-dir. Robert Zemeckis- DISNEY+ / ITUNES)
To this day, I’m pretty sure this is the only time Mikey Mouse and Bugs Bunny have appeared on screen together. They do it to berate Bob Hoskins as he falls to his death. He’s falling cause he’s gotten too close to the truth about a murder that’s pinned on a cartoon rabbit.
In this hyper-kinetic, wildly inventive, incredible live-action/animation noir hybrid, cartoons are real people working and living in 1930’s Hollywood! Bob Hoskins is a noir anti-hero, a grouchy, troubled detective who hates Toons (as they’re called) forced to work together with Rodger Rabbit, a famous cartoon rabbit, when he’s framed for a murder he didn’t commit!
This thing is such a technical marvel, using every single trick in the book to deliver a fully realised world. Rodger Rabbit’s Hollywood, despite mostly being live-action, feels like a cartoon and not just because of it’s many oddball citizens. There’s an impossibility to this town, an “anything-could-happen-ness” that infects every frame. The characters are all wonderfully realised and incredibly memorable- Christopher Lloyd’s Judge Doom (cartoonishly sinister) his nimrod weasel lackeys (hilariously baffonish) Rodger himself (a masterpiece in cartoon lunacy) and his femme fatale wife Jessica (She’s not bad, she’s just drawn that way). This movie is something else, something with such heart at its strange genre-bending centre that I don’t know if it can ever be replicated. Like a horny cartoon wolf, watching this will have your jaw on the fucking floor.
Your Name & Weathering With You (2016 & 2019- dir. Makoto Shinkai- ACADEMY ON DEMAND / NETFLIX / ITUNES / GOOGLE PLAY)
Feels right to talk about the previous two works of director Makoto Shinkai together, considering they share a lot of DNA. Teenage love, some of the most gorgeous animation ever put to screen and a story that hinges on magical surrealism.
Your Name is about city boy Taki who starts switching bodies with country gal Mitshua, both of which long for a different life. World-changing shenanigans ensue.
In Weathering With You Hodaka runs away to Tokyo where he meets Hina. He has nowhere to go and she can manipulate the weather. Starting a business together, they slowly begin to fall in love.
Both of these films have midway/third act twists that significantly change the direction of the story. Both of them emotionally shattered me before putting me back together. Only one of them has significant McDonald’s product placement, but I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which one.
Weathering For You acts as a bit of a spiritual sequel to Your Name, even featuring a few key characters in fun cameos. They’re both so lush in every sense of the word, it feels like the films are breathing. You’re stepping off a diving board and falling into a vast ocean full to brim with grinning, vibrant life. The most beautiful animation thing I said earlier wasn’t an exaggeration. I mean look at this shit!
That’s a clip from Weathering which has the ungodly task of animating the dour, grey rainfall into a vibrant work of art. I think it accomplishes it in spades.
These are masterful films. They’re love letters to love and the things we will do for that love. They’re the best. I love em to bits.
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Ok ding dong dang, Substack is telling me that I’ve made this thing way too long to send off! So I’m going to have to do the only reasonable thing one can think of- leave all the sappy, sad and horror-adjacent stuff for tomorrow. I think that’s reasonable.
Watch a movie tonight. Enjoy yourself. Don’t be afraid to laugh and don’t be afraid to cry. That’s what they’re there for.
-Mattie Bee
xxx